


Don

by magiclover



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, BAMF Bilbo, Blood, Guns, Hurt, M/M, Mafia AU, Modern Era, hurt dwalin, mafia, mix of middle earth
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-04
Updated: 2017-01-12
Packaged: 2018-03-10 10:54:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3287651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/magiclover/pseuds/magiclover
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>To say that he was not amused would be an understatement.</p><p>“Where Bilbo is the head of the Hobbit family and doesn’t tolerate disrespect, especially not from Dwarves”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Dwalin

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know if this will be a fully realized story. It will mostly be a place for me to write ideas for this topic. If you see any mistakes let me know! Hope you enjoy!!!!
> 
>  
> 
> Also I'll be updated Quest soon!!!! School kind of kicked me in the ass when i decided to write it.

Bilbo was pissed.  No, he was beyond pissed.

 

He was _furious_.

 

Sitting in his kitchen, eating all his food, had to be the most disrespectful and rudest dwarf he ever had the pleasure of meeting.

 

“Are you going to just stand there and watch me eat? Or are you going to get me my drink, Hobbit? ” The dwarf said.

 

 _Rude!!!!_ Bilbo thought furiously, _Insufferable, pretentious dwarf!!!!!_

Bilbo took a deep breath before he responded.

 

“It’s right here Master Dwalin,” Bilbo said as he set the drink on the table.  “Not that I mind you being here Master Dwalin, but you still haven’t told me _why_ you are here.”

 

And that was the problem with this whole endeavor. One minute he was eating dinner peacefully and _alone_ , and the next thing he knew he had a dwarf barging into his home!

 

 _Well what did I expect_ Bilbo thought hatefully, _none of the families have any real respect for Hobbits, especially the dwarves._

Which made the fact that there was one in his house all the more confusing.

 

“I think it’s time that we talked about why you’re here.” Bilbo said as he got up, waiting for Dwalin to follow his lead.

 

Dwalin looked him up and down before he grunted a response, ‘I guess it’s ‘bout time to get this over with.”

 

And with that they retired to Bilbo’s study.

 

“So Master Dwarf,” Bilbo said as he sat behind his desk, “What can I do for you?”

 

Dwalin looked around distastefully before he spoke to Bilbo. “We’ll have to redesign this room before Thorin takes overs.”

 

There was a beat of silence.

 

“Come again?” Bilbo said, calm exuding from his every word.

 

“I said this room ain’t going to work for my boss when he gets here.  It’s to prissy almost elvish, it’ll need to be changed.”

 

“And why,” Bilbo said as he leaned back in his chair, “Would Thorin be coming here?”

 

“Because were taking over boy,” Dawlin responded in an annoyed manner, “Mahal I knew you Hobbit’s were weak but I didn’t think you were slow too.”

 

Bilbo took a moment to calm himself down before he continued, “And why, pray tell, do you think you’re talking over?”

 

“Not like it’s any of your business, but we need workers,” Dawlin said offhandedly, “Plus you guys have had it to good for to long, it was just a matter of time before a family that’s stronger came around and took over.”

 

Bilbo remained silent.

 

“Don’t worry lad you can still have your home,” Dwalin continue, “And we’ll take good care of your halfling’s for ya.”

 

And at the word halfling Bilbo snapped.

 

In one smooth motion, he pulled the gun out of his waistcoat and shot Dwalin straight in the kneecap.

 

He had to give it to the Dwarf for only letting out a strangled yelp, but Bilbo was done playing nice.

 

“You know Master Dawlin, I have been incredibly patient about this situation,” Bilbo said, still sitting comfortably in his chair.

 

“First you show up at my house without any formal letter sent beforehand, you eat all my food and then you have the nerve to say that you’re taking over.”  Bilbo finished.

 

He looked at the cursing Dwarf bleeding all over his floor, staining the wood.  He scrunched his nose; he’ll have to get it replaced.

 

“Do you want to know something Dawlin,” Bilbo said has he got up from his chair, “We hobbits have a saying, do you know what it is?”

 

He stood in front of the dwarf, “To be peaceful is to be ruthless,” Bilbo said, “Do you know what that means, Master Dwarf?”

 

Dawlin glared at him in response, “It means,” Bilbo drawled, “that we will and _have_ done anything to maintain our lifestyle.  We have beat, tortured and murdered to build the shire to what is today and I’ll be damned before any other family thinks they can take it.”

Bilbo glanced down at Dawlin, in one swift and fast motion he stomped on his hand.

 

 

“Now now Master Dwalin,” Bilbo said as he knelt down to get the hidden gun Dwalin was reaching for, “That’s just disrespectful.”

 

“Tell Thorin,” Bilbo said, “that this little intimidation tactic, is not going to work on me.  Now if he wants to talk he can go through the proper channels and come himself or if he pulls another stunt like today, he can bet the next one won’t be coming back alive.”

 

With that, Bilbo stood up and pulled his phone from his pocket. “Hello Hamfast, I need you to come help Master Dawlin find his way out of the shire, and bring Olo with you.  Our guest sustained a couple of small injuries that need to be looked at.”


	2. Balin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for being gone for so long!!!!! life really hit me hard these last few years. Here is a quick and small chapter update, I'm back and I plan to finish my stories (or at least most of them). Let me know of any mistakes! Once again here is a short chapter, they will get longer as we really start getting into the plot.

"Come again?"  

 

Balin could feel a dull ache begin to form behind eyes, and the shaking dwarf before him wasn't making it any better. 

 

"Um...." The dwarf stuttered, "Dawlin has returned.... injured from the Shire. " 

 

"And why," Balin sighed, "Was he in the Shire? I thought we hadn't made any concrete decisions on what to do with the Hobbits." He bowed his head, all ready  knowing that this foolishness involved Thorin. 

 

"H-He said that Thorin instructed him to umm, acquire the Shire through intimidating their current Thain." The drawf looked anywhere but Balin, praying to all of Eru that he wouldn't be punished for being the messenger. 

 

Balin released another sigh.  The other drawf tensed as Balin reached in a drawer but relaxed when he pulled out a bottle of Aspirin.  "How badly injured is he?" Balin tiredly asked, already done with the whole situation. 

 

"He's been shot in the knee, but the healers assured me that he will heal with time and physical therapy........Apparently the Thain shot him when Dawlin called him a Halfling." 

 

The pain behind his eyes doubled at the word Halfling. "Ori," Balin started, "Did you not give a detailed report _and_ presentation about Hobbit culture.  Specifically on why we _do not call them HALFLINGS!!_ " Balin roared anger finally showing itself.  He could not believe this, all the work and foundation that he laid down with Gandalf, gone! All because of the stubbornness and damnable pride of their king. 

 

"What do they expect after this!" Balin demanded, "Smaug and his immoral dragons are almost at our door step! We have no men, no allies and no money! The one plan we had, THE ONE PLAN! And he ruins it!" Balin shouted. Huffing, a little out of breath, he calms himself. 

Ori stood in silence. 

 

"Where is he?" Balin asked as he sat down, vaguely wondering when he stood up in the first place. 

"With Dawlin, sir." 

 

"Good, keep him there." Balin sighed, thinking of all the re-planning he would have to do with Gandalf. 

 

"Go visit your husband Ori, and tell the fool he should have reported to me before he blindly followed Thorn." Balin said as he reached for another Aspirin. 

 

"Thank You, sir" Ori finished as he turned to leave, thankful to finally get out of the room. 

 

"One more thing," Balin asked, "Where are the boys?" 

 

Ori hesitated. 

 

"Ori," Balin warned. 

 

"They went to the Shire" Ori started, "to see the hobbit who shot Dawlin." 

 

 _Forget a Headache,_ Balin thought, _it’s a full on_ _migraine_ _now._  


End file.
